Inspirational Songs

Here is a list of songs I found to be inspirational. If you have any songs to add to this list, please write them in the comment section below!

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Tomorrow is a new day, don’t give up

March 27th, 2016

9:00pm

I sit here alone

Feeling the darkness slowly rise

My mind encapsulated in fear

“Will this ever end?”

10:00pm

I sit here alone

Shaking with anxiety

Quietly preparing my medicine

“Why bother? It’s not working.”

10:15pm

I sit here alone

Feeling hopeless, crying silently

Pouring 60 pills into my hand

“Take them all. No one will miss you.”

10:20pm

I sit here alone

Fighting these darks thoughts

Rationalizing, contemplating, deciding

“Is this how it ends?”

11:00pm

I sit here alone

Gasping for air

Sobbing uncontrollably

“This will never end.”

11:05pm

I sit here alone

Finally swallowing my pills

Only taking an extra two

“I knew you’d chicken out.”

11:45pm

I sit here alone

Drifting into unconsciousness

Knowing better than to wish for a better day

“Everything would be better if i was dead.”

 

March 28th, 2016

7:30am

I am afraid

Of these disturbing thoughts

That still encircle my mind

“I wish I didn’t wake up at all.”

8:00am

I am afraid

That admitting these thoughts

Will land me in a place I’ll never leave

“You’ll never leave because you’ll be dead.”

9:30am

I am afraid

Waiting anxiously to see you

Hoping for relief from my own self

“You’re just another number. She doesn’t care.”

10:00am

I am afraid

Sitting in your office

Spilling out every little thing I’ve bottled up inside

“Just shut up. No one ever cared.”

10:10am

I am afraid

Uncontrollably shaking, sobbing

As i finally gather my courage

To admit my suicidal feelings

10:15am

I am afraid

Talking to campus emergency

Agreeing that the hospital is my best chance

“They don’t care. You’re a liability now.”

10:45am

I am crying

As I’m admitted to emerg

Feeling as if all eyes are on me

“You’re pathetic and weak.”

11:30am

I am crying

As i am sent back to the waiting room

For the crisis nurse to arrive

“She doesn’t care. Nobody cares.”

12:30pm

I am crying

As I’m walking to the other end of the hospital

To a place I fear I’ll never leave

“You’ll only leave here in a hearse.”

12:40pm

I am crying

As i answer more intake questions

Ticking off the mental illness being checked for

“They think you’re crazy.”

1:00pm

I am crying

Back in the waiting room again

Awaiting the arrival of the emergency psychiatrist

“They’re not coming. Why would they bother?”

2:00pm

I am shaking

As a strange man calls my name

Beckoning me into a small interview room

“There’s no going back. You’re never leaving this hospital.”

2:30pm

I am shaking

After talking to a man who has no interest in my issues

Who only sees me as another cry for attention

And another wasted hospital bed

3:00pm

I am shaking

As a new nurse tells me they have a bed for me

But it’s in the hallway of the department

I tell her I would rather leave than sit there in the open

3:15pm

I am shaking

As the nurse finds an empty room for me

Explaining no psychiatric beds are available at this time

Unless I’m willing to be transferred to Toronto

4:00pm

I am exhausted

Longing for sleep, eternal or not

Laying here alone

Not once being checked on

4:10pm

I am exhausted

Stirred awake by a volunteer bringing me food

Refusing it and telling her to take it away

“You don’t deserve to eat.”

4:45pm

I am exhausted

Still crying, still afraid, still alone

Having second thoughts about staying here

No one seems to care

4:55pm

I am exhausted

As I call a nurse into my room to talk

Asking to speak to the psychiatrist

Because I can no longer stay here

5:00pm

I am exhausted

Venting to this nurse, the only one who seemed to care

The one who says staying is best, but understanding the need to leave

Promising the psychiatrist will be by soon

5:15pm

I begin to wonder

After being here for 6 hours

Why no one had kept an eye on me

What if I had the means to end it all?

5:20pm

I begin to wonder

Had someone else been in my spot

If they had the means to end it here

How long until someone would notice?

5:40pm

I begin to wonder

Why I am here

As the psychiatrist berates me for wasting his time

“I was afraid of what I’d do. What else was i supposed to do?”

5:45pm

I begin to wonder

Whether I can keep holding on

Whether life really is worth it

And whether I have any strength left within to keep going

5:55pm

I begin to wonder

Why I was placed in a small, dim room

No windows, alone with my thoughts

Feeling more claustrophobic as the seconds tick by

6:10pm

I am calm

But still afraid

Somehow determined to keep living

Not understanding where this sudden change came from

6:20pm

I am calm

But still shaking

As I decide, for certain, to leave

Being told again that I’m making a big mistake

6:30pm

I am calm

As i sit outside waiting for a ride

Determined to prove him wrong

That this decision was right

7:30pm

I am calm

But alone

Facing my bottle of pills

“Don’t.”

8:00pm

I am calm

But exhausted

Fading into unconsciousness

“Tomorrow is a new day. Please don’t give up.” 

– Anonymous

Booklist

Here are some recommendations of books for enhancing and strengthening your mental health:

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (by: Brene Brown)

This novel by Brene Brown, focuses on whole-hearted living and the tools for developing worthiness, which Brown classifies these as courage, compassion, and connection. Personal stories are provided as examples of how these concepts work together in real life. The book follows ten guide posts relating to the importance of accepting one’s imperfections. Brown engages reader’s minds, hearts, and spirits through this easy read best-seller.

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (by Brene Brown)

In this best-seller, Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotion, such as fear, grief, and disappointment, and the source of love, innovation, and belonging. Common myths regarding vulnerability are debunked, allowing readers to see how deep vulnerability truly is. Brown argues that our vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage and explains the ways in which it can be used to transform our daily lives.

Rising Strong: The Reckoning, The Rumble, The Revolution (by Brene Brown)

Each one of us is going to stumble and fall at some point in our lives. The process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage becomes tested. Rising strong after a fall is how we develop wholeheartedness, which is an ongoing process. Brown teaches us that this process is where we discover the most about who we are.

Eat Pray Love (by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Eat Pray Love tells the story of a young women who seems to have it all, yet is not happy. Rather she is filled with panic and confusion. The story follows Elizabeth as she leaves behind her outward marks of success, and sets out to explore three different aspects of her nature. Through this journey, Elizabeth aims return to a health state in both her mental and physical health.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear (by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Readers are encouraged to tackle what they love most, embrace their creativity, and face down what they fear most. Attitudes, approaches, and habits for living a creative life are discussed in this best-selling novel. Gilbert encourages readers to uncover the “strange jewels” which are hidden within each of us and learn how to infuse our lives with more mindfulness and passion.

David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants (by Malcolm Gladwell)

This novel will change how you think about obstacles and disadvantages. A new interpretation of what it means to endure various setbacks is offered by Gladwell. Readers have said that this book serves as a constant reminder that no matter what the circumstances, anyone can succeed. This novel truly is an eyeopener.

Luck is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career (by: John Krumboltz and Al Levin)

Unplanned events and experiences often play a huge role in our lives, sometimes more than all the things we carefully plan. Luck is No Accident actively encourages readers to create unplanned events on their own, to anticipate changing their plans regularly, and to take advantage of chance events when they come up. This book has an easy style which encourages readers to make the most of what life has to offer, with personal stories which help bring the ideas into focus.

Mindsight (created by Wendy Stanyon) http://mindsight.uoit.ca

Mindsight is an excellent resource created by a professor here at UOIT. The aim of the module is to reduce stigma by promoting awareness of mental illness, as well as providing a greater understanding of the basic signs and symptoms of common mental illnesses. Self-help strategies and those for helping friends, peers, and/or family members are provided. Community resources are also available through this resource. There are 10 different sections to this training: stigma, depression, anxiety, substance use, suicide, self-harm, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, psychosis, and trauma. Once all the training and quizzes have been completed, a certificate of completion can be requested.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (by: Miguel Ruiz)

The Four Agreements reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that frequently create needless suffering. Ruiz provides readers with a powerful code of conduct which can rapidly transform your life to a new experience full of freedom, happiness, and love. The Four Agreements are: be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and to always do your best.

The Secret (by: Rhonda Byrne)

This novel focuses on the laws of attraction providing historical examples of its application. A three-step creative process (Ask, Believe, and Receive) is outlined for making dreams manifest. Gratitude and visualization are highlighted as the two most powerful processes which can help make one’s desires manifest. The manner in which to use the law of attraction in various areas of life such as wealth, relationships, and health is discussed, allowing readers to understand how it relates to one’s life and the world.

The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (by: Jack Canfield)

The Success Principles will teach you how to increase your confidence, live with passion and purpose, as well as tackle daily challenges. Readers will learn to realize all their ambitions, through numerous principles which have proven successful throughout history. The fundamentals laid out in this novel are the same for all people, no matter how large or small their goals. Through learning these basics, you can move on to tackling the important inner work required to transform yourself into the person you want to be.

Strengths Finder 2.0 (by: Tom Rath)

This assessment is designed to help readers uncover their talents and learn numerous strategies for applying individual strengths to everyday life. Readers are informed of their top five themes and provided 10 strategies for building on each. A personalized action planning guide is laid out for applying your strengths in both the immediate and long-term future.

If there are any additional books you have found helpful regarding your mental health, please leave the title in the comments below!

book

The final push

I thought my last semester in my undergrad would be great. However, I have little motivation to really try, I’ve already got accepted and paid for my program that starts in May. I have very little motivation to put in a lot of effort into my work both at my actual workplace and in my school work very type

I am very typeA and this lack of motivation really bugs me. So to help me get through lack of motivation slump I have been dealing with for the last 6 weeks I have used my personality to kind of help.

I have created mini goals each day that helps reach an even larger end goal. Each class, work, banking and other obligations have a colour in my planner, so I fill out each week and use different colours for each task. This helps also with visual learning.

I would like to know what other people do to help themselves when they are unmotivated, please leave a comment below!

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Mental illness comes in all shapes and sizes, it can happen to anyone at any time in their life. Sometimes, all we need is a little support and reassurance that we are not alone and that we can do this.

Here are 15 positive affirmations to live by when you live with depression, anxiety or any other mental illness to remind you that you are a warrior.

  1. Self-forgiveness is essential for self-healing.
  2. Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what can be.
  3. You are enough.
  4. It is okay to ask for help.
  5. It is a disorder, not a decision. Be kind to yourself.
  6. Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
  7. Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.
  8. You were given this life because you are strong enough to handle it.
  9. Pain is real, but so is hope.
  10. Always remember that the future comes one day at a time, and so does recovery.
  11. Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times.
  12. You are loved.
  13. You have a right to heal at your own pace – you are allowed to take your time.
  14. Whatever it takes. You can make it through it.
  15. Your circumstances don’t determine where you go, it merely determines where you begin.

 

 

The Calm Before the Storm

It’s now the 4th week of school, and the first round of assignments are either done or quickly approaching. And I am in a strange in-between. Coming down off the high that is staying up late to put the finishing touches on an assignment, but also trying to maintain it because I know more is right around the corner, and after that its midterm exams.

I’m trying to do my best at keeping calm, trying not to let the ever creeping, over powering, stomach twisting, mind frazzling anxiety take over. On that edge of “I CARE A LOT!” and “well, I really don’t want to do anything”. Because Its one thing to have motivation and no desire, because you can still get the job done. However, for those like me who have that powerful desire but a somewhat dwindling motivation it can be extremely hard to get started. I know its coming, you know its coming. Assignments! Tests! Quizzes! Projects! GROUP Projects! But right now its quiet.

I’m in power save mode. Trying to do things here and there to prepare, but still feeling like I’m somehow forgetting something. Each year, each semester becoming a challenge, as it should as we advance to higher learning. But I can’t help but long for a simpler time. It wasn’t that long ago even; it was my first year of university. It was a new found freedom, exciting but scary. When the word “free time” actually meant time where I didn’t have to be doing some form of work. But…I am honestly happy at where I have progressed to. The simpler times of first year may be over, but things have gotten a lot more interesting as the years have progressed. New topics, new people, new initiatives to be apart of. Watching things grow and/or fizzle out. Feeling like a train in motion, headed straight for my goal, what I, like many students have worked so hard for, graduation.

However, I’m not in such a hurry anymore. Where the calm was once deafening, it is now comforting. Where I once was unsure, I am now still unsure but have the resources and tools to help me find my way. Right now, I feel like I can take on anything, even though in reality I may not be able to. But I have hope and determination. I can feel my levels of desire and motivation finding a happy middle to meet. Not too much motivation where it blinds me to the world around me and causes me to feel like I’m burning out. And not too much desire that I’m distraught when something doesn’t turn out the way I wanted. I am in a happy in-between; a mixture of emotions. Right now I am in the calm before the storm, I have my life jacket tied tight and my boat is in good condition. I. Am. Ready.

Well wishes,

L.R.

The Never-ending Search for Motivation

Here we are, almost 3 weeks with no responsibilities, no classes, and no need to spend all night studying for exams. Sounds like paradise right? Too bad in a few days we will all find ourselves back in school, knees deep in assignments and textbook readings.

I’m fairly certain that I am not alone when I say that I think it will be very difficult to get back into the routine of being a student. So, how do I find the motivation to snap out of my current lethargic lifestyle? I am terrified that I will not be able to, and therefore have an unsuccessful semester. Deep down, I know that I have it in me, but my anxiety refuses to let me see that. It sucks.

I just wish that I could enjoy myself during these last few days; instead, I am constantly fighting with my anxiety and in a constant panic for what the near future holds. This is not out of the usual for me, I know that I have anxiety and that one of my most prominent symptoms is irrational fear of the future. But how do I stop it so I can enjoy the present? I have been told to stop and acknowledge any fear I may have and if it is irrational to let it go. However, this is so much easier said than done.

For the current time, I will continue to do my best to separate rational from irrational worries and hope to see that going back to school will not be as difficult as I think it will be. But I do hope for the day that I just automatically put the irrational worries to rest.