It’s Not You, It’s Me

I love spending time with my friends. Being a student can be so stressful and time-consuming, but going out and relaxing with friends makes the hard work all worth it. They know how to pick me up when I’m down, and sometimes they even know me better than I know myself.

With all that being said, sometimes I just can’t bring myself to leave the safety of my room to go see them. That’s the problem with social anxiety; part of me would do anything to just go out and have a good time, but the other part refuses to be around anyone at all. I wish they would understand that it’s not because I don’t like them, or that I don’t have fun when I’m with them. It is because some days even getting out of bed in the morning is a real struggle, and anything further than that seems like mission impossible.

But the last thing I want to do is blame it on my mental illness because I don’t want them to look at me differently, or stop asking me to hang out in fear of rejection. I just wish people knew the strength of the effects of social anxiety. It has the power to completely destroy any will to go out in public and carry on with what is considered a normal, everyday life.

Maybe one day everyone will understand that people with social anxiety don’t enjoy bailing on plans at the last minute, we just need to give ourselves time to be mentally prepared to go out in public.

3 thoughts on “It’s Not You, It’s Me

  1. I completely understand this feeling. I have a similar issue where I would love to go out with friends, but half of the time I am too shy or anxious to actual make plans and stick to them. It’s a strange feeling, when you crave social situations but at the same time, you just can’t do it. It’s almost like my brain fights with itself! You are not alone, thank you for sharing.


  2. I have definitely made plans I’ve been looking forward to them all week and when the day actually comes I feel anxious about them, or even just feel sad that day and cancel last minute. Sometimes I would rather just sit at home and be alone than have to go out and be social with my friends. I always feel extremely guilty when I cancel plans because of my mental health, but I’m sure my friends would understand if I explain the reason I cancel.


  3. Thank you for sharing. I am lucky enough to have friends who are introverts and are more than happy to come over and stay in my room with me. But I also have friends who are extraverted and like to go out. I find it helpful to do some deep breathing or listen to calming music if I know I’m about to go out to a social gathering of a lot of people where I know I will probably not be as comfortable as if I was in my own room.


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