Coming back to school after the winter break has been especially hard for me. I don’t really know 100% why but it has been tough trying to get back into the groove of things. I have always been a person who loves school and learning, but lately I always find myself asking why am I here and is this what I really want to be doing. When truth be told I just want to be home with my family. I have always found myself to get home sick, and living away from home hasn’t really been easy for me. Trying to deal with new roommate and trying to get comfortable somewhere that just doesn’t feel like home. Let me tell you it sucks. I’ve never really been a person who makes friends easily, and it’s not because I’m mean or cocky or anything, but more that I am an extreme introvert and unless someone full out makes the attempt to talk to me I’ll just keep to myself. Out of my three years at university so far, I find that returning to school now has been the hardest and most stressful time yet. I find it hard for myself to pay attention and stay focused because all I want to do is be home with my family. My family and I have tried to see if me commuting every day would be worth it, but it is not. I live far and I actually would spend double the amount of time commuting, than the time I would spend in class, so that was out of the question. So it was either live in Oshawa or switch Universities, yet I do love this school and don’t want to change. So it is as if I am having a tug-a-war with myself and its draining me so much that I just don’t have any energy left for school. On top of it I am always stressed, I’m talking stressed about things that there should be no reason to be stressed over. So between the wanting to be home and the stressing over my school work and just school in general, it is as if I have come to a fork in the road and cannot decide which way to go if any, or if I should just turn around. My parents have asked me if I would like to take the rest of the year off or if I need a break, but the issue is I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I am just going through a phase of feeling alone and actually missing home, or if the stress and exhaustion that school puts on me is doing this.
All this to say that I guess I am only to take it one day at a time, because how am I to make a decision if I don’t actually know what I want?
If you guys have any tips on being home sick or stressed please share 🙂