2017. Another year, another semester gone. And that old saying is rearing its ugly head; “New year, new me”. This saying can hold different meanings to a variety of people. It could give those who have put off their goals for so long a bench mark of where to start. Marking a beginning and/or end for new and old relationships or habits. Or it could simply be a way for those who know they can’t commit to a goal another way to stall. And honestly, I have to say I’ve been both. But I’m still learning.
But I truly believe, as each year passes we all learn more and we get better. This may seem fairly obvious, but its true. There are still things for me to learn and improve on. But I’m working on it, and that’s the important part. As we progress and we work on things, we tend to improve even if we don’t realize it.
I do well in school, and have good study skills but they’re not the best. Over the years I’ve become less scared to talk in front of large crowds or even instruct a class on how to do something, but I still get nervous; the butterflies are always there. As well as, my ability to balance work, school, volunteering, and a family/social life leaves something to be desired. But I’m working on it, and that’s what’s important. I try my best to get outside my comfort zone, no matter how scary it is, and how much my anxiety fights to over power me. I try and take as many opportunities as I can, so they will help me develop and grow as a person. Even though, and it may not look like it on the surface, I am panicking on the inside. But that panic drives me. Because if the way to get rid of that anxiety, or make its affects less severe, is by taking more chances frequently and consistently, I’ll do it.
But once again, I’m still learning. I have not reached that point of confidence yet. I’m doing my best, all the while trying to convince myself that my best is good enough. So, I vow to myself that I will try my best every time all the time, to be better. And whether it takes months or years, or my whole life, I will continue to learn and be better than I was yesterday. I want to be okay with not being okay, or just being okay at certain things. I may not always be the best, even though I desire it, but I will always do my best. So if your like me and don’t have everything figured out yet, that’s okay. We are all still learning, we will never stop learning and improving. The most important thing is to acknowledge and celebrate progress and know that your best is good enough. If not to be the best for others, be the best for yourself first. Because, for me right now, I’m okay with not being okay; I’m still learning. And I know this sounds like a bunch of motivational quotes, but they do hold true for some. Myself in particular.