Please Be Patient With Me…

Please be patient with me
As I have yet to show you a side of me
Which I try to hide away from you,
My friends, my family, and my peers

A side of me that’s alone in the shower
Curled up in a ball struggling to breathe
Dry heaving and hyperventilating
In the midst of an anxiety attack

Please be patient with me
As I live with a stigma
That sometimes brings me down
Into a deep sadness I can’t control

A stigma that tells my peers
I am a lazy human being
Who has given up and quit
When all I do is try

Please be patient with me
As my insecurities get the best of me
Taking hold of me
And pulling me down into darkness

Insecurities that leave me believing
That I am undeserving,
Unlovable, and unworthy
Of the good things that come

Please be patient with me
As my past has greatly affected me
Making me afraid to open up
For fear of being deeply hurt again

A past that I have tried hard to get over
And has left me afraid to love
For fear of being vulnerable
And taken advantage of

Please be patient with me
For my mental illness is a part of my life
Making it difficult to do even the simplest things
Like getting out of bed

A mental illness that sometimes consumes me
Dragging me into the darkest depths of hell
Where I can find no escape
And believing I deserve it

Please be patient with me
As I learn to love again
Love another person
And most importantly, myself

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